Another Lucy, and My Analysis of Same

In an earlier post I salute Lucille Ball and her clever little quotes, albeit taken from the brains of Madeline Pugh and Bob Carol Jr. However, one quote has been stuck in my head for years and, even though I already posted it several times, on Twitter, Facebook, and even here(see earlier post) I would like to post it again and provide my own translation. I do this because I have been thinking quite a bit about the view of dating and marriage with regard to society's current view. And hopefully my random ramblings will somehow tie together into some coherent version of what I'm trying to say and how I feel about--gender roles. Here goes:

 For some stupid reason, society is teaching us that men can be looked after by women. They can be as dumb as they want and women will solve everything. Um, hello, I'm all for women taking care of themselves when they have no helpmate and no one to provide for but themselves, but guess who's job it actually is to take care of people and solve the problems. That's, right: the man. Good strong men know who they are and what responsibilities--marital or otherwise--they have and they actually do their job instead of waiting for other people(ie, women, or their wives, or members of the female half of the species) to take care of them.

Some people who have seen my movie collection question the ones that I own--for whatever reason, I'm not going into that now. But I looked over them, again, and I realized that all of the movies I own have men and women where they are supposed to be--that is, the men as breadwinner, patriarch, leader; women as homemaker, care giver, and occasionally damsel in distress(which is a fine place for a woman to be once in a while--believe it or not).

I had a talk with my mom about this, and have come to the following conclusion. First, the quote:

"There are three types of men in the world. The Bachelor walks around the car and opens the door for you; the Fiance reaches across you and opens the door from the inside; and the Husband gets out, stands on the sidewalk and says 'well, we haven't got all night'."

So there is the quote, and now I'm going to--analyse and commentate on it. Be advised, this is my own opinion and I am stating this at the risk of being bombarded by...whatever. Here goes:

There are three types of men in the world
Lucy calls them the Bachelor, the Fiance and the Husband. I call them the Gentleman, the Casual, and the Jaded Jerk. You'll see why I call them "jerks" in a second. All three of these types are men and boys that I have met for most of my life. I've just never been quite so good at telling these types apart. And ok, I get that society plays a big role on the type of person you become, but the thing is, people can also choose to change, and to go against what society expects. In a positive way, of course.

The Gentleman.
Anybody who has read a Jane Austin novel or seen a movie from 1930-1950, would know what a gentleman is, and that's not meant as an offense, I promise. These are men who know how to talk to and treat a woman--sure, ok they can still be rogues, but you know what? Benedick was still a gentleman even if he did crack jokes that were--not so nice. He bantered and insulted Beatrice, but you know what? When she was upset he still wanted to make sure she was ok, and I don't think it was just because he was crazy in love.  Or Rhett Butler. He was a rogue, but he stayed behind when Atlanta was burning to get the woman he loved out of danger. This guy is the stereotypical Prince Charming and stuff. He solves his own problems; he can take care of himself. He chooses to ignore the role society is trying to give them--the lazy rogue who is taken care of by women. This is the type who knows he is supposed to look after women and be a help mate, not a burden.

The Casual.
So this type is in between the other two. He can be nice and gentlemanly, but only when he wants to--which is about half the time--if we are lucky. He treats women ok, but still has faults and has to be reminded to do things. Like open a car door. This doesn't necessarily mean they don't want to; they just don't know if they should. They are starting to listen to society. They aren't sure if they should treat a woman like a woman, or as a casual acquaintance. Hence the reason for the gentle reminders.

The Jaded Jerk.
Ok. So first off, this is not an insult. Ok, not quite. This is the type I feel kind of sorry for. These poor things have been totally taken in by society and not give a (insert appropriate word here) about the way women should be treated. They have been jaded and act stupid and want women to be their problem solvers and take care of them, not the other way around. Need an example? Watch any episode of either King of Queens or Everybody Loves Raymond. The man gets into trouble, and the woman solves the problem. Over and over again. I'm not even kidding.

The car.
Lucy uses the car door as an example. This can be applied to anything--including building doors, car doors, dates and...anything. Gentlemen open doors and stand aside for the lady to pass, come up to the door on dates, pay for tickets, or dinner, etc. Casuals still open doors, but walk through first and lever the door open for the ladies to enter behind him, they don't get out of the car to pick one up for a date, they just honk or text  "i'm here" and wait for the girl to come to them. One time when this happened to me, I had to text the guy to get out of the car because I was not coming to out until he came to get me. And when they do pay for tickets or dinner or whatever, it's only about fifty percent of the time, or go dutch. Which, in my opinion, is stupid. The Jaded Jerk doesn't do anything either the Casual, or the Gentleman do. He's a jerk. Period.

Tying it together. Sort of.
So, here is the quote again, with my translation, and then my conclusion.

"There are three types of men in the world. The Bachelor(or Gentleman) walks around the car and opens the door for you(or a building door, or buys the tickets, or comes to the door for a date). The Fiance(or Casual) reaches across you and opens the door from the inside(or texts or honks when he picks you up for a date). And the Husband gets out, stands on the sidewalk, and says 'well, we haven't got all night'(self explanatory, I hope)."

My conclusion: guys, if you become a Jaded Jerk, it will kill you with the girls. Girls, believe it or not, like Gentleman. Any girl who doesn't has something wrong with her.

Also, guys, the ones who get married are those who figure this out. Just a tip. The end.
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Again, the above it purely my own opinion and not meant to offend in any way. Thank you so much.

Read This!!! Female Characters--and Stuff

Haven't been here in a while. Busy with revisions, Writer's Slough(NOT Block- there is no such thing!!!!) etc. But I found this article this morning about characters belonging to the female half of the species and it is totally worth the read. There are a couple of three people I think should read this--though I won't mention any names.

I'm nice like that.

You can read the article here.