Quirky Monday: True to Gender

I used to hate romances.

With a passion.

Maybe it had something to do with the covers(I don't really like seeing "bodice-ripper covers" because they either A) make me uncomfortable or B) make me want to laugh out loud because they look sooooo ridiculous); or maybe it's got something to do with the formula of the plot. 

I also wouldn't read some sci-fi--because plot. 

YAs? Same plot, same character types, same, same, same....all of it. 

Mysteries? Confession: I pretty much know who it is like--halfway through the book? Even if it's well written I think I was only surprised once. ONCE!!!

And yet I read these books over and over and over again: Lauren Willig; Alex Flinn,  S.E. Hinton, and more recently, Tasha Alexander, Deanna Rayburn, Rhys Bowen and Lucinda Brant. So far as males authors go, give me Jerry Barrowman, Terry Brooks and CS Forrester anytime.

Why? 

BECAUSE THEY WRITE REAL MEN AND WOMEN, THAT'S WHY?!

Yeah. I have this weird thing about being "true to gender" because there is nothing more frustrating than reading or seeing something written by a man or woman where all the characters that are the same sex as the writer are spot on and all the ones who aren't are, well--not.

Example: Before my brothers were born, I was under the impression that boys did not cry, This was due to fact that I had never(and still haven't ever) seen my dad cry. To a five year old, if the only male model you have in your life is a father who never cries, it makes sense, right?

It didn't help that my viewing choices were stereotyped with regard to the males. You know how many male characters I saw throw temper tantrums? Two. Donald and Scrooge McDuck.

Until I saw three films that started to change my childhood perspective on males.

First, Jungle Book.

The Disney Jungle Book. You know that scene at the end where Baloo is dying after the fight with Sheer Khan(sorry SPOILERS!!!!)? Well in that scene--Mowlgi cries. He cries!!!
See:

It's a saaaaad scene, right? But it made me really uncomfortable. I'd never seen a boy--or any male for that matter--cry. And it didn't make sense to me. In my five year old brain, girls are the ones who are supposed to cry; and guys man up and move on(thank you male stereotypes).

 I tried a romance in high school. And this was a bad idea. I don't even remember what the author's name was, but I do remember the men in that book. Or rather, the characters that wished they were men and spent most of the novel whinging and mooning and making me want to strangle them!!!!!

And ok, I live with five guys now(my dad and four brothers) so I have seen a little bit of the male side of "oh-I'm-attracted-to-so-and-so-what-do-I do?!"--boy have I ever! But here's the thing: none of them tune out of life and go moon about her for days on end because that isn't how guys are wired people! It just isn't!

When I was seven, my grandpa introduced me to the second film: Princess Bride(which everyone and their aunt has seen at least fifty-thousand times). I've mentioned before how much I love this movie--and now I think I understand why. There were men in this film that showed emotion! Westley cries; Inigo is in intolerable pain; both Fezzik and Inigo are upset when they find Westley's "body"(I know, I know SPOILERS!!!!!).

Film number three with men was West Side Story. Now, up until this point, no matter what movie or tv show I saw, if I guys started showing emotion it made me really uncomfortable(see reason above). So uncomfortable, in fact, that I'd look away from the screen until the scene was over--even after Princess Bride  and Jungle Book. This film, though, was different. This scene especially:

It's messy; it's raw; it's a man going to pieces--and I sat and watched the whole thing. For probably the first time in my life(I was eight). And I kept watching those movies and those scenes for one very important reason.

It's for the same reason I love things like the Fast and Furious franchise and The Prestige and...oh oodles of movies with male leads--because they are Real Men. They cry(Westley, Dom, Angier) and they feel(Brian, Dom, Angier, Drover, Westley) and they go crazy(Inigo, Westley, Dom) and they man up and save the day and all that other good stuff that both reality and imaginations just LOVE(list is too long to insert here)!!!!!

Of course, watching men that are true to life is a little different from writing them. Here is what I learned about writing men: a male's brain is not the same as a woman's(no DUH) and men handle different emotions and problem-solving skills in a way women don't. 

And it isn't just the men either. Poorly written women can drive me up the wall too. I read a book recently for the upcoming Utah Beehive Teen Read Awards--and it was terrible. Because this was a women who didn't know how to write women! And it made me nuts.

Opinion: just as the world has the tendency to stereotype men as "emotionless robots", it also has the tendency to stereotype women as either "emotionally charged drama queens" or "ice women". I'm serious, those are the two "niches". Which is ridiculous on both counts. 

Just as men feel emotions, but aren't allowed to show them, women can be criticized for showing either too much emotion or not enough. There are some really crappy romances I haven't finished for that first reason; and some action flicks I haven't seen for the second. 

Second opinion: reason A happens when women try to write women to please the rest of the world, and reason B happens when men try to write women like men. 

And both backfire. 

You want an example of  what I think is a good film about a woman written by a man? Red Riding Hood. And yes, I know that this film had--mixed reviews and some people(no names) have asked me why the heck I bought it in the first place. My answer? For two reasons--it harkens back to the original tale; and it's written by a man who knows how to write women:

 

And he doesn't stop there. Check this:

This are both  romance scenes. The second is like a high heat romance scene. A scene worthy of a female writer. And this guy hits it spot on!!!! Because he understands that women have a vulnerability that men don't have. It has something to do with the way the female is wired. 

You know another quality women have? We can be little spitfires!

Marvel and Stan Lee taught me that. After Chris Morgan and Ted Elliot and Terry Russio of course(late comic book bloomer, remember).

Want a spitfire woman example? How about this:

So here's the point of this post(if it isn't clear yet): if you're going to write good characters you have to be aware of the gender of the character and be true to it. Men cry; women fight; both have facets of personality that should be taken into account EVERY TIME!!!!!

Keep this in mind and your characters will be friggin awesome!!!!!!