Writing Closet: Self Care of One Theatrical Artist, and a LIST of Same!!!!

So I have S.A.D.

For those not in the know, the full term for this acronym is "Seasonal Affective Disorder", which basically means that when it gets cold and dark(so like October-March) I have a hard time sleeping, my energy drops and my personal insecurities go through the roof.

And I have ADD.

Everyone knows what that is, so I won't go into detail--suffice it to say S.A.D. and ADD make for a really fun combination

I'm also a Slytherin(I took the test like six times to make sure). Which means that when I comes to self care apparently I have to do this:


Yeah. Being a Slytherin Artist with S.A.D. is so fun.

The upshot?

My creative ability plummets.

And as a Theatre Artist, this sucks.

Like, you have no idea how much.

Ok, you probably do, but still.

When I was in school, I used to think that the reason I didn't want to be involved in theatre--or much of anything, really--during the Fall/Winter months was because academia was getting in the way and that was sapping my time and energy.

So, until Summer hit, the only thing I did that was theatre related was scribble away at my scripts(because I'd rather cut off my own arm and poke my eyes out with sharp sticks than stop writing).

There were exceptions, of course, but every time I made one, it had--Not So Great Results(not including the Cast Plague).

It wasn't until fairly recently that I figured out that it has nothing to do with my secular activities, but with my genetic makeup. See above.

Yay.

The good news is that once I figured this out I could figure out ways to tackle this problem(because that's the kind of  tenacious person that I am--thank you parents!).

Which means I got to make a list.

I love making lists(I started this blog with a list, a million years ago).

And since it's New Year on Wednesday(yay! yikes!), which is the time of year for making lists anyway(or New Years Resolutions, or whatever, again, see above), I'd thought I'd share with you my list, which I not only use for combating SAD, but also my Creative Slumps.

1. Light Therapy
You guys, I wish I'd known about this sooner. It's better than going to a tanning place(not that I've ever been), and cheaper too. All you do is buy a little "happy light"(which you can get from Amazon for pretty cheap), and put it in a place where you have easy access to it. Mine is at my desk at work right next to my computer.

Then turn it on for like thirty-ish minutes and sit in front of it(or angle it so that it gets light into your eyes but not enough to blind you) and it helps so much!

This is because the light from the lamp imitates sunlight(which there is not enough of in the winter grrrrrr). My mom got me one and I use it every day there is no sun(except in the summer) and I love it!
 
 2. Ginger Cocoa.

I have a notorious sweet tooth, and anything that has chocolate in it is my favorite. I also have this minor obsession with ginger--it's sweet with just enough of a bite at the end to give you that nice little energy kick you need.

But it's only good if you make it from scratch: 1 tbsp cocoa(I go for Hersey's Special Dark), 1 tsp ginger(or more if you want it); mix; add enough water/milk to the mug to create a paste; stir; top off mug with milk/water; stir; pop in microwave(unless you've pre-boiled the water). Caveat: don't mix up the cocoa and ginger proportions or it will not taste the same!!!!!


You can also create it on a stove-top and add chocolate chips if you want thicker cocoa--Second Caveat: don't let the sugar burn cause that's a mell of a hess!

I drink gallons of this instead of the packets or pre-made crap and have also begun experimenting with the recipe:

-melting almond bark or those chocolate button things is a great replacement for chocolate chips or cocoa...just make sure you add more milk/water or you get dipping chocolate instead of a drink

-Boiling ginger in the water adds more of a kick--and ginger water is awesome on it's own(also, it prevents Heat Stroke)

-If you don't have ginger, then try adding some kind of extract i.e. vanilla, mint, orange, hazelnut, whatever to get a different kind of flavor. I recently started adding a bit of rum flavored extract and that adds another layer of goodness(don't use lemon extract though--it's a whole other level of disgusting!)


4. Music.

Loyal followers know how much importance I put into music when I'm writing. I have a Soundtrack for every single one of my scripts(the full-length ones, anyway); but I also have Mood Music.

I tend to go on "music kicks", so I've spent months playing different artists on loop(and probably driving housemates and family members up the wall, but that's a "them problem"😛)

In middle school I had a French teacher who would turn on the radio when we were doing "busy work" (like verb conjugation) and the station was always a rap/hip-hop station, so I learned to conjugate verbs to a particular rap song--and now every time I hear that song the conjugations pop up in my head:

Another result? I got obsessed with Eminim, 50 Cent, NWA, Eazy-E, Eve, Ice Cube, Dre, Machine-Gun Kelly, Tupac, Fat Joe,Ja Rule, Ashanti, Jay-Z, Benny Cassette, Black Eyed Peas, Baby Bash, T-Pain, T.I. early Kanye West, Fabulous, Common--and on and on and on. When I voice my love for this genre, my brother tries to say that I only like it cause I saw "Straight Outta Compton", which is...the reason for the re-awakening of my love for rap, but not the roots.

When I was in high school, I got sucked down the 3 Doors Down Rabbit Hole and have never really crawled out of it. I also have like fifteen million songs from Breaking Benjamin and more recently(thanks to an awesome friend's recommendation) Starset and Red.

My current Mood Music kicks? Adam Jensen, Sam Tinnez, and the solo careers of the members of One Direction.

Yes. Yes, I have a very eclectic music taste, thank you.

5. Reading: Plays, Novels, Non-Fiction

I could read by the time I was four.

I was reading Dumas, Robert Louis Stevenson and Austen when I was in third grade. And not the Great Illustrated Classics versions either. "Voracious" does not even begin to describe my reading habits.

 One of the hobbies that my grandpa had was collecting old books. I love the smell of them: the leather, the paper, the glue. Whenever I have a long day, no matter the season, I drive to Barnes and Noble just to smell the books--it calms be down.

And just like I have music kicks, I go on book kicks too. I found one of those "Books Everyone Should Read Before They Graduate College" lists on the interwebs and--not surprisingly--I'd read all of them at least twice before I even started college.

Last year, after my bi-annual viewing of "Band of Brothers" I bought the book and then found out that not only had Stephen Ambrose written about the 4077th, but several members of Easy Company had written their own memoirs.  Did I buy those? Yes. Yes, I did.



Speaking of memoirs, that was this year's kick: Julie Andrews, Tan France, Kevin Hart, Rob Lowe, Cary Elwes and the Princess Bride Crew, James Cagney, Ronald Regan, Sean Astin(for like the fifth time) all of whom had amazing lives that I knew little to nothing about and have become some of my favorites.

The colder and darker it gets outside, the more hours I devote to reading. My bookshelves are overflowing with old favorites and new loves and books-I-haven't-read-yet-but-the-pitch-intrigued- me so-I-did-an-impulse-buy. My New Play Exchange Reading List (I've been on NPX for almost three years) is full of new worlds to explore and people to meet.

Because, let's be real, if you're wandering in another world you don't think about how gross it looks or feels outside.

Writing Closet: Tail of Two Shih Tzus

It's Christmas this week, so I'm doing Story-time again.

So my family has two dogs.

Both Shih Tzus.

Who are two of the most ridiculous animals on the planet.

Don't get me wrong I adore them both to death and when I go see my family I snuggle them a lot and miss them tons when I leave.

But they have their quirks.

Tiger we got for Christmas, more or less, and she's the oldest.

And I mean that literally.

She is totally blind.

She is partially deaf.

She has arthritis and benign tumors all over her body.

And has licked one of back legs almost raw(we have to bandage it so she doesn't lick it).

Now, before you go feeling sorry for her, she's also got a snarky, crabby, independent personality that she's had since we got her. This dog is staying alive to spite us all.


And she had no qualms about showing off said snarky crabbiness whether the occasion called for it or not.

If you held her wrong, or played with her wrong(aka took her toy away before you were supposed to) or took away her food(including table scraps) you would know very quickly that you were in the wrong.

You would know, because she would bite you.

And I'm not talking a little nip either. I have scars from some of those bites.

Tiger also loved balls.

She wouldn't bring them back, but she loved it when you threw it and she could go get it. Then she'd put it between her paws and gnaw on it until she was ready for it to be thrown again.

Once I threw the ball under the couch and she went after it. This particular couch is low to the ground--low enough that Tiger had to belly crawl to get under the couch and get her precious ball--

--and she got stuck.

The idiot dog got stuck under the couch because she had a tennis ball in her mouth and wouldn't let go. For some reason the notion to let go of the ball so she could come out wasn't computing, and I eventually had to reach under and yank the ball out of her mouth so she could come out. Either that or you wait for her to sulk so you could drag first her and then the ball out from under the couch.

When we first got Tiger, whenever she wanted something, she would do this very distinctive sniff.

Not a sneeze, not a snort, almost like the she was blowing hot air to get attention from the idiots she lived with.

The twins called it her "hey stupid" sniff.

When she wanted outside, or food, or play or water or whatever, we got the "hey stupid sniff".

That was when she could see.

Now, when she needs something--including help finding her way into a room that she is clearly not in--she barks.

It's a very sharp,

very annoyed,

very demanding,

kind of pathetic sound.

She has no clue where she is, or where whatever she's looking for is, but she's not about to tell us she's lost because we're the stupid people, not her.

The scariest time for Tiger at the moment is Christmas.

Because our Christmas tree will attack her.

We have a setup in our house where you can get to the kitchen/dining area through three different doorways, and we usually put our tree in one of said doorways, so that it's there but doesn't get in the way of everyone/everything else.

Problem: Tiger uses said doorway to get to the warmest room in the house.

Last Sunday, she tried to use said doorway to get to said room

and because she's stone blind she ran face first into the tree

which was not supposed to be there.

So Tiger backed up to go in a different direction.

Second problem: she was standing between two branches.

And when she backed up she got poked from behind by the tree.

So she went forward again and got a face-full of pine needles,

and then a tail-full of pine needles

and that's when I picked her up and carried her to the room she was looking for.

Stubborn adorable little muttfuzz.

Mai Yin is the baby dog.

And I mean that literally--she has the permanent personality of a two-year old.

She doesn't growl, she doesn't yip, she cries.

About everything.

She thinks in extremes: everything is awesome or everything is horrible.

She panics when she wakes up to an empty room, because the world has ended and no one loves her anymore.

Granted, there are exception. Mai Yin is a lap dog and she's not as feisty as Tiger so when little kids want to hold her or carry her around she just--lets them. But even she has her limits. One Thanksgiving after relatives went home she did this

because if no one could see her then they'd leave her alone.


Don't get me wrong, she's utterly adorable and I love her to death, but there are times that she's too busy being kind to be intelligent.

For instance, it is currently freezing as all get out here so we put the dogs in doggie coats and jackets so they won't freeze.

Mai Yin refuses to wear them,

but she will shiver cause she's cold and makes no connection with sweater=warm

She also has one of the most expressive tails I've ever seen. We can always tell what she's up to based on that tail.

When she's happy it's up and wagging.

When she's relaxed or sad, it droops.

And when she's doing something that she probably shouldn't it sticks straight out.

This sticking straight out usually happens when she had metal in her mouth.

Yep. Metal.

 

Paper clips, straight pins, safety pins, needles, BBs, you name it, if it's metallic, it goes in her mouth.

When she first started doing this, all we had to do was get hold of her and finger sweep the object out.

But the little minx decided to have a bout of intelligence one day and figured out that if she moved the object under her tongue then we could open there mouth and--surprise! nothing there!

So then, one person has to hold her still and hold her mouth open

and the other one has to lift her tongue to pull the metal out of her mouth.

Cardboard too, that's another thing she loves to play with.

When the toilet paper rolls are empty, instead of throwing them away, we give them to Mai Yin.

Then, once she's chewed them to shreds, we toss them in the garbage.

One Christmas she got hold of one of my Ugg boot boxes(which are huge, btw) and she chewed on that for three months.

And apparently, my dogs aren't the only amusing canine's on the planet. Follow the links below to hear about Jeff Dunham's Canine Companions.
https://vimeo.com/185249890
https://vimeo.com/185250336

Happy Holidays y'all!!!!

Thespian Musings & Lure of the Fox: Hazards of Being a Playwright

 So once upon a time, I went on family vacation.

My family really likes to do outdoorsy things(except me) so we planned a hike to---someplace I don't remember where exactly--so we all had backpacks and water bottles/camel-backs and snacks and the works.

And, because I write 24/7(sometimes literally) I had a notebook and a pen in my backpack--the latest draft of a script I was working on. 

We went and did the hiking thing and when we got to wherever it was and stopped for snacks/lunch/rest(or in my case recoup), I took out my notebook and my pen and did some writing. 

And when we got back to our rental house I emptied my backpack to get ready for next day activities and saw this:

Apparently my water bottle was not closed, or something because my entire notebook was soaked all the way through.

Which meant that 75 pages worth of writing were next to useless.

Which meant I had to start my script all over again.

Can you spell C-A-L-A-M-I-T-Y?

And, ok, fine, it was not the end of the world but it was still enough to make me grind my teeth and mutter about "stupid-hikes-and-stupid-water-and-ruined-have-to-stupid-do-all-over-a-stupid-gain"(and that's the filtered version).

You would think I'd have learned my lesson. 

HA.

Flash forward...several years to now. 

August.

Wolves is in rehearsal and I'm plugging away at Fox.

In a notebook. 

Which I'm supposed to carry around with me at all times.

Until one night, I left it in the rehearsal space.

I

Left 

It 

In 

The

Rehearsal 

Space.

And since we were sharing it with other people it probably got thrown away.

And it was fine.

It was fine.

It was totally fine.

I had most of Act II(which was the contents of said notebook) already typed up and I'd worry about the mini plot-holes later and just get to work on Act I--which is probably what I should have done in the first place, but as I said before, I write things backwards.

So I started writing again--this time from the actual beginning, and it was nice. I carried my new notebook around with my new pen(because yes I needed a new pen with my new notebook; it's a thing; shut up) back and forth to day job and rehearsals and everywhere else.

And somewhere between getting from point A to point B I lost that notebook too.

Just like that.

All gone.

Disappeared.

Lost.

Kuput.

Which was awesome.

Grrrrrrrrrrrr.

Soooo I got to start over.

Again.

However,

The upshot of all this is that the old saying "third time's the charm" is actually true in this case.

Yes, I was frustrated cause I had to start from scratch each time.

But each time I was getting a new notebook and a new pen and adding to/cutting from my playlist soundtrack for this script I had a lot of time to think.

Which turns out to be exactly what I needed.

Because when it comes to my scripts and my characters I get

I was happy with what I had before.

I was.

But what I'm working on now is so much better.

Things that didn't click before now are falling into place.

Plot holes I thought I'd have to deal with aren't plot holes anymore.

And I've made new discoveries about my characters.

One of which made my head explode 😛

Lesson?

Make sure your water bottle is closed when it goes in your backpack

Make sure you know where your stuff is, and back it up(like maybe in two or three different places just in case).

Sometimes when things "blow up" in your face, it's cause your Muse is telling you that you have to start over

and you if you don't listen to your Muse or whatever the first time

your Muse will beat you over the head until you do.

Result?

"Fox" is so much better!

And so much fun!

Which means I go home every day to the Writing Cave and emerge every night from the Writing Cave with a big stupid grin on my face.

End of entertaining anecdote.

Quirky Monday: Shake Your Bushy Tail(And Stay Away From Me)

Ok, y'all we're going to play a game.

 Riddle me this:

I am small.

I am brown.

I chatter in the trees.

What am I?

Give up?

It's a squirrel.

AKA the only animal I am still utterly terrified of.

No joke.

Spiders I can handle; mice, snakes and rats are pushing it, but I can deal.

Squirrels?

Nope.

Not happening.

Not ever.

Period.

The end.

This is not cute. This is panic inducing.

There's even a word for it: Sciurophobia. I'm not kidding, that's what you call being ridiculously, irrationally afraid of squirrels.

And it is all Dr. Quinn's fault.

For those who don't know, Dr Quinn was a tv show that aired back in the 90s on CBS about a female doctor(Jane Seymour) who moved from Boston to Colorado in the 19th century. My great-grandpa used to watch it all the time, and he usually had it on when we'd go over for Christmas or birthdays or whatever. One of my few memories with him is sitting in his house with him in his recliner and me on the floor or in a chair near the tv and watching this pioneer show that I loved(and only found out the title of much later).

Anyhoo, one episode of this show had a rabid dog as part of the plot, and I was a little nervous about dogs and rabies and things, and I happened to voice that fear in the hearing of my uncle Paul.

Now, Paul is an outdoorsman to the core, so he knows about things like this and he looked over at me and said(as near as I can remember and with the best of intensions I'm sure): 

"You know, it's hard for dogs to get rabies--"

"It's usually squirrels."

Now, I don't know if he was totally joking at the time, nor did I really care. The only thing my seven-year-old brain could think of was that my family went camping a lot.

Camping outside.

In the mountains.

With  squirrels.

So many squirrels that there were signs like this:

Cue internal mini-panic attack which has plagued me ever since.

Following that nice little tidbit of information I lived in certain fear that I would meet a gory end at the hands--well, paws-- of a vicious rabid squirrel.

If we went camping, I stayed close to the fire, because squirrels were smart enough not to get burned(apparently).

When we went up the canyon, if there were squirrels in the parking lot, I stayed in the car until they went away(and got  various impatient cries of "Chelsea, just get out of the car!" from various relatives).

Girl's Camp was one of the most stressful weeks of my life simply because the furry monsters were everywhere. And they were going to kill me.

Two years ago my family went to Park City on vacation, and my mom and I were riding up one of the lifts and I saw a squirrel ten feet below me and nearly had a heart attack(and highly amused my mom).

Scuriophobia is not going to go away. I know that. But it can be managed, if I work on it long and hard enough. I'm not as vocal about it as a used to be, so that's progress.

Meantime, it amuses the family, and to some extent myself. I mean, I'm not in a Stephen King horror story, so it's not like I really will die by random rabid squirrel attack.

Plus, it's a fun word to say. Sciurophobia.

How's that for quirky?

Quirky Monday: Leather

You remember back when I said that people speaking in dialects and other languages turn me into a big pot of goo and I fangirl all over the place? Well, that isn’t the only thing that causes that reaction. There’s a whole list of them that could make maybe a month’s worth of posts, but this time I’ll only discuss—or fangirl about—one.

Leather.

I love the feel of it; I love the texture; I love the smell; and yes, I love the sound. Leather is cool. And it’s all the Man in Black’s fault.

For those not enlightened enough to get that cult reference (if you’re one of them--GASP!!!!), that’s a character from “The Princess Bride”. Actually, it’s two of my favorite characters from “The Princess Bride”, cause both of them sport leather.  And after you been bit by the leather bug—in my case anyway—it doesn’t go away.

My great-grandpa used to watch “Dr. Quinn” whenever we were over for Christmas, and even though I didn’t quite get the storyline, I loved the fact that these people were running around in leather boots, with leather saddles and stuff(it’s a Western, so go figure).

Wait, though, it gets worse. When I was ten, I saw a recording of Michael Flatley’s “Lord of the Dance”(and if you haven’t seen it, you should, because OMG!!!!!....anyway….); and I fell in love with it. Not just because of the dancing, but because of all the leather pants. Ok, fine, maybe some of them were “pleather” pants, but still. It looked sooooo gooooood!!!!!

And now, on BBC, there is a show called “The Musketeers” and guess what they wear? LEATHER!!!!!

And really, all the time I was growing up I wanted to own something leather—because it looked COOL!!!!!

I used to prowl around H&M and Forever 21 just to pick up the “pleather” jackets and I’d wear them until they were worn out. I also had a pair of “pleather” pants I wore holes in cause I wore them so much. I got my first legit leather jacket three years ago. I wear it entirely too much. This past Christmas, my mom got me wool-lined leather gloves to wear during the winter. There is already a hole in one of them. Not enough to mean I have to get rid of them, but still.

If you speaking in an accents doesn’t get me gooey, try getting your hands on some leather for me. We could talk. 

Me and the Movies: A Fangirl's Problem

I am a terrible person to watch movies with.

 Actually, I’m a terrible person to watch movies and tv shows with.

There. I said it.

Anyone who goes to see a movie or watches a movie or tv show with me is subjected to squeals, squeaks, vocal and silent fangirling and the occasional bouncing-up-and-down-in-my-seat-like-a-two-year-old. 

No, I’m not kidding.

Not that I don’t contain myself a little when I’m in a movie theatre. I do. But people still see the bouncing, muted squeaks,  and fangirling.

Yeah. I look like this.

Wait, though, it gets worse. Outside I movie theatre, I turn into IMDB 2.0. I spout celebrity chess did-you-knows, and behind the scenes gossips and stories, and goofs, and all that stuff.

It’s a problem.

But it’s not one I want to fix. I’m a very vocal obnoxious person when it comes to my interests and films happen to be one of those interests.

That’s all. 

Quirky Monday: BIG Entrances

The earliest drafts of Angels Alley began with Gyp being thrown out the window.

I watch the Fast and Furious movies because they start with a fight and/or a car chase--all the time.

West Side Story is among my favorite musicals because it starts with a fight.

Supernatural began its series with a fire.

Every single other show I've written has someone springing from nowhere in a really big way--one way or another.

Why?

Because I have a thing for big entrances.

I blame Disney. Some of the first movies I remember seeing--Beauty and the Beast, Peter Pan, The Sword and the Stone--they all had someone who got a dramatic introduction. I saw the Disney 1993 version of The Three Musketeers began with A) a torture scene and B)a fencing match followed by a chase scene. Those are big dramatic entrances.

And I love them!

On the one hand, big entrances tend to come off as cornball, which is a delicate balance that writer's have to keep, because on the other hand, big entrances are REALLY REALLY FUN!!!! Like this one:

Which is why my newest project begins with so many of them.

Quirky Monday: Austen Rant

Ok, soapbox time.

I recently saw Pride and Prejudice and Zombies with a friend. AND I LOVED IT. You know what the best part was? It made several things blatantly obvious that are hidden beneath the layers of the original. Not the least of which is:

Elizabeth Bennet is a conceited prig.

There, I said it, and I’m not taking it back.

Why? Well, first of all, because it’s the truth. Having been a fan of Austen from the time I was—eight(I KNOW!!!!); I have had/overheard countless conversations with friends/peers about her books. Chief among the subjects is something like this—“Mr. Darcy is a selfish arrogant snob that doesn’t deserve Elizabeth, blah, blah, blah.” But never never is Elizabeth faulted. Everything is laid at Darcy’s door, and some of those peers—who, understandably, have little understanding of Austen’s culture—deem him the villain of the piece. He isn’t. Not by a long shot.

Elizabeth is.

Here’s why: the class system of Austen’s world meant that those who were raised in the upper echelon of society were taught a form of etiquette where one of the rules was this: you do not speak to anyone who has not been introduced. Now, call me quirky, but if I had been raised by those rules my entire life, I’d have trouble “conversing with those of which I have no acquaintance”.  It isn’t snobbery; it isn’t anti-social behavior; it’s etiquette.

Additionally, if I was raised in a middle-class family with a scheming, rather embarrassing mother and a father who wanted to be left alone(and didn’t care a jot for society); and four sisters that were—well, they all had a fault of some kind—I would  certainly want to hide my hurt with something we all hold a little too dear at times. That something is called Pride. And when our pride is damaged, when tend to do and say stupid things, sometimes with the best of intentions.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that those of us with faults tend to tar others with the same brush. People familiar with both the book and the film will remember Elizabeth’s words to Darcy when he first proposes to her: “Your arrogance, your conceit, and your selfish disdain convinced me that you were the last man in the world I could ever be prevailed upon to marry!”

She calls him arrogant, conceited, disdainful. Anybody wonder if she picks those out because sub-consciously she has those faults herself? That’s called prejudice.; and it’s something Elizabeth developed long before that jackass Wickham came into her life. 

And ok, if someone I was attracted to(yes, she was attracted to him!!! it’s in the book)said I was “not handsome enough to tempt [him]”; and I was already aware that my fortune and family wouldn’t exactly get me the best match, I’d be ticked off too.

Pride and Prejudice doesn’t just get its name from the faults of one of it’s characters; the title comes from the faults of two. Both act—in part—according to how they were raised; and both have to overcome the faults in their upbringing to get their happily ever after.

The end.

Descending soapbox.

This post was brought to you in part by “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies”, now playing in theatres and one of the few adaptions where the screenwriter gets both Elizabeth and Darcy right.

Quirky Monday: Week of Mush

You know how I theme read? I also theme watch. And since it's Valentine's week, here's a little Valentine quirk for you: 

I watch chick flicks and period films the whole month of February.

I'm one of those types who plunks down in front of the screen ready to squeal at period romance and mourn over the fact that so few people behave like this anymore(that's for a later post)

So for you reading pleasure, below is a list of the films I indulge in this month--with a new one recently added, because Sean Bean in frock coat. 

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte

 Follows the coming of age of a young governess, Jane Eyre, and her love for her master, the enigmatic Mr. Edward Rochester. Read so many times both covers are torn off, pages are dog-eared, and binding held together with—wait for it—packing tape.

Originally published: October 1847

Adapted for Film/Television:   adapted thirty-four times between 1910 and 2011

Adapted for the Stage/Radio: Adapted 22 times between and 2013 including radio adaptions, and web series

Most Famous Adaptions:

Film: Starring Orson Welles and Joan Fontain; 2011 Starring Michael Fassbender and Mia Wasikowska

Stage: Adaption by John Caird and Paul Gordon, starring Marla Scheffel  and James Stacy Barbour

Television: 1983 BBC starring Zelah Clarke and Timothy Dalton; A&E 1997 starring Samatha Morton and Ciaran Hinds; Masterpiece Classic 2006 starring Toby Stephens and Ruth Wilson(personal favorite)

Radio: Campbell Playhouse 1944 starring Orson Welles and Loretta Young; BBC 1994 starring Ciaran Hinds

**NEW**Clarissa by Samuel Richardson

Note: Hardest classic I’ve ever read. I have developed an intense dislike of epistolary novels.  Follows the lovely Clarissa Harlowe, and her seducer Robert Lovelace.  Also has the ability to makes me cry quarts--at the villain’s demise of all things

Originally Published: 1748

Adapted for Film/Television: Once in 1991

Adapted for Stage/Radio: Once in 2010

Most Famous Adaptions:

1991 BBC Starring Sean Bean as Lovelace(and that, ladies and gents makes 102 on my stupid list!!!!)

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

The lives and loves of the Bennett sisters, particularly Jane and Elizabeth, the latter of whom catches the eye of the proud and misunderstood(yes, I said misunderstood)Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy. I could go on a whole spiel about why Darcy is so misunderstood—but that’s another can of worms altogether.

Originally Published:

Adapted for Film/Television: Eleven times between 1938 and 2005

Adapted for Stage/Radio: Nine times between 1935 and 2014(I happen to know the playwright of the 2014 adaption)

Most Famous Adaptions:

1940 Starring Greer Garson and Laurence Olivier(and containing the BEST Lady Catherine/Elizabeth showdown ever “I like her. She loves you Darcy; she’s the one for you.”  Eeek! Why was that not in the book?!

1995 A&E/BBC Starring Jennifer Ehle and Colin Firth(with that LAKE SCENE!!!! why was THAT not in the book?!)

“Furst Impressions” Wishbone episode starring the darling Jack Russel Terrier as Mr. Darcy(if you haven’t seen it, Youtube it—SO CUTE!!!)

2005 Starring Kiera Knightly and Matthew Macfacdyen (Confession: I am not a Kiera Knightly fan, but this movie was one of her good ones—and the little thing with casting Collins as a shrimp—loved it!!!)

2014 by Melissa Lelani Larson. Premiered at BYU in Utah for the 50^th anniversary of the Fine Arts Building

The Scarlet Pimpernel by Baroness Orczy

Follows the story of the dashing masked hero, Sir Percy Blakney and his wife Marguerite St. Just, as they rescue French aristocrats and foil the plans of the slimy Chauvelin.  Read the first book in four hours—lost sleep due to how good it is. Sequels? Not so much.

Originally Published: 1905

Adapted for Film/Television: Eighteen times between 1918 and 2006

Adapted for Stage/Radio: Adapted three times between1950 and 1997

Most Famous Adaptions:

1934 Starring Leslie Howard(playing the fop to the hilt!!!)

1982 Masterpiece starring Anthony Andrews, Jane Seymour and Ian McKellan(SO dashing as brunette, and fabulous foil for Anthony Andrews!)

1997 Broadway Musical by Frank Wilderhorn and Nan Knighton originally starring Douglass Sills, Christine Andreas and Terrence Mann

1999; 2000 A&E Adaption starring Richard E Grant, Elizabeth McGovern and Martin Shaw(some fans hate this—I happen to LOVE it. All of them! It’s called poetic license people. Deal!)

North and South by Elizabeth Gaskell

The most famous of the Gaskell novels, follows the somewhat snobbish Margaret Hale as she moves from the south of England to the North, where she also catches the eye of mill owner John Thornton.

Originally Published: 1855

Adapted for Film/Television: Twice; 1975 and 2004

Most Famous Adaptions:

2010 BBC Starring Richard Armitage and Daniela Denby-Ashe

Mansfield Park by Jane Austen

Note:  my personal favorite Austen

Fanny Price is sent to live with her rich relatives at Mansfeild Park, where she observes that just because you’re rich, it doesn’t make you happy. She also falls in love with her cousin, Edmund.

Originally Published: 1814

Adapted for Film/Television: five times between 1983 and 2014

Adapted for Stage/Radio: three times between 2003 and 2014

Most Famous Adaptions:

1999 by Patricia Rozema starring Francis O’Connor and Johnny Lee Miller

2003 BBC Radio starring , Felicity Jones,  Benedict Cumberbatch and David Tennant(and Benedict and David make stunning brothers!!)

Wives and Daughters by Elizabeth Gaskell

Originally Published: serialized 1866

Adapted for Film/Television: twice in 1971 and 1999

Most Famous Adaptions:

1999 BBC starring Keeley  Hawes, Justine Waddell, Tom Hollander and Anthony Howell(I personally don’t find one of the leading men all that stereotypically attractive, but hey, to each her own. His voice makes me squeal.)

Quirky Tidbit Name of the Game: Bean, Sean Bean

So. It has clearly been a busy week, which means that this will be a mishmash of Quirky/Tidbit/Name of the Game. Thank you adulting. Fortunately, all three of these things coincide.

I've already mentioned that I do these weird celebrity obsessions right? This one has to do with my current projects. And it's weird, because not only is this someone I've had a secret crush on for a while, but I've never really talked about. Out loud. Fortunately, this is someone everybody knows(thank you pop culture). He started as Lovelace and Sharpe; he's done James Bond(as a villain); he's acted with Nic Cage(and was fabulous); current pop culture knows him as Boromir and Ned Stark. Know who he is yet?

Yes. It's Sean Bean. And yes, I fell in love with him when I saw Lord of the Rings. I saw him in National Treasure and he won me over even as a villain. Thanks to my job, I have access to all his earlier work, namely the Sharpe mini-series and the BBC adaption of Clarissa. So I've been doing a bit of a binge on all things Sean Bean that I can possibly get my hands on--and I feel no shame about such.

 The result is this week's "Tidbit Tuesday" section: that he  is currently dancing around in my head as a celebrity model for not one, but two of my characters. And here's why. See this photo above is Sean Bean as of last year. The photo below is when he was younger, specifically as Richard Sharpe:

And yes, all right, there isn't much difference between the two(the photos are fifteen years apart). But these are the faces I get when I think of these two characters--one the villain, and one the hero. I love his accent--both his natural and those he assumes for his roles; I love the way he moves, whether he's flirting/seducing a woman, or shooting things, or swinging his sword around. I haven't seen every episode of Game of Thrones but I have read the first book; and I follow enough of it on Social Media that I was upset by the death of his character(I watched Ned Stark's death on Youtube multiple times--some of the saddest fifty-three seconds of my life:) 

Needless to say, once this project is over, his face will stay in my head. And yes, he is one of the celebrities on my Collaboration Bucket List.

Quirky Monday: New Fluff

So Galavant is back on.

And so is Downton Abbey.

And Reign.

And there’s a new period show called Mercy Street that airs right after Downton.

And the other day at work, where we get to let music blare so long as A) you’re in the right department(media, in this case) and B)it doesn’t blare too loud, I found a Savage Garden album and listened to it all shift. (Savage Garden was my high school obsession. Yes, I’m that old. And we move on…)

Oh yes, and MTV’s Shannara Chronicles has become my Tuesday night TV show after my Shadowhunters fluff-fest(yes, there are a lot of new things I’m watching—it is not my fault all these new shows premiered at more or less the same time, leave me alone :3)

What do all these things have in common? All contribute to my next project.

Remember that one time I said that I have to work on multiple projects or all go nuts; because I’m just that weird? Well, as it happens, that is what this is. Gray Market is my “heavy project” and this new one is my “fluffy project”.

And my “fluffy project” really is that. Fluff.

If Gray Market  is Katie McGarry and my attempt at a romantic drama/urban fantasy take two, then this fluff Galavant meets Austen/Lauren Willig/Shanara—and a fairy tale. Because, really, who can resist a guy in breeches/ frock coat/ leather/ tunic/ all of the above? Not me. Especially if some of them look like this:

Guys, I am super excited about this project. I haven’t written something that is pure fluff in a very long time—and that is what this project feels like.

Research requirements? Minimal to none(this realm has no magic system, so I don’t have to worry about that; but it does have a class system and a monarchy, so there’s those rules to consider—and languages. I have to figure out what those sound like).

Music? I’ll post that later—it’s the fluffiest yet!

And it has Amazons! 

Ok, it has female warriors that resemble the Amazons.

And pirates!

And royalty!

And spies, conspirators, scrappy female runaway slaves(who may or may not resemble certain Reign characters in my head right now)….

Yes, a fairy tale.

Without a title.

But that comes later. 

Quirky Monday: Open the Door

When I'm with a guy, I expect him to open my door.

All of them.

Whether it's a date, or not.

How's that for weird?

I went to shoot a publicity video with a friend once, and he parked the car, and walked across the parking lot. And left me in the car. I waited maybe two minutes before he texted me "are you coming?" and I texted him "I don't know, are you going to open the door?" And the same thing happened when he drove me home. When did open the door to let me in, he said "it isn't a date".

I'm sorry. Does it have to be a date to open the door? Personally, I don't think so.

With four brothers, who have opened the doors for me, my sister, and my mom from the time they were three(and trust me, there is nothing more adorable than a chubby three-year-old-wrestling with a door three times his size and stubbornly insisting "No! Do self!").

Maybe they ruined it for me, I don't know. But I happen to like when even random stranger guys open the door for me.

I'm the weird female that stands in front of the door when she sees a male behind her to see if he'll open the door for her. 

Nuts, right?

Yes, guys, I'm a snob.

It doesn't have to be a date for a guy to open the door for a girl. 

The end. 

Tidbit Tuesday: New Year, New Project, New Research

Now that the GRE is over, and all I'm worrying about at the moment is work, I get to go back to doing what I love--writing twenty-four seven. Because I can.

See, this year I'm starting another project; because, let's face it, I'm a playwright and have to be writing or I'll--keel over and die probably :p Anyhoo....This project is new, so this means I get new research material for said new project, because artists need stuff like that(yay muses!)

My Angels Alley cycle relied on the films of the 40s, with special attention paid to the likes of Edward G. Robinson, Humphrey Bogart and James Cagney.

Polterguys relied on The Addams Family, and Friends.

NaNoWriMo was a super binge on Urban Fantasy, Rob Thurman's books, and lots of Breaking Benjamin Albums(thank you Youtube).

My newest project obviously has to have new muse and new inspiration, and this one is kinda nice. It's a little throwback to last year of high school and first couple of years of college. I fell in love with this show after one episode, and spent the next couple of days reading up on it so I could understand what was going on--as I discovered it after the end of the third season(I saw the finale as a re-run). It was what everybody who watched CW loved on Monday nights and had clothes and glitter and pretty people and things. The show? Gossip Girl.

I posted about my wild crush on the show's Bad Boy Gossip Girl Chuck Bass earlier on this blog, but that isn't really the reason I'm using this show as media muse for this new project. I'm going contemporary with this one, so I've picked this show and a new author that will keep my muse fed:

Katie McGarry.

If Lauren Willig is my go to for entertainment elsewhere, then Katie McGarry is my YA contemporary fix. Katie writes like "Gossip Girl"--only she does it via the good girl/bad boy or bad girl/good boy romantic duo.....Yeah, ok, fine; it's exactly like Gossip Girl.

But I digress.

This project is contemporary, and deals with things I haven't written about before. There's more, but I think I've given you enough of a tidbit today.  Except for one thing: I'll give you the title.

GRAY MARKET

Quirky Monday: Yuletide Quirks

So I haven't had finals, but the places where I work all do, plus crunch time for GRE(EWWW); and with all the finals chaos, this little blog has been sadly neglected. But, I'm back, and as it's the week of Christmas, here's a little Christmas Quirk for y'all.

My family still plays Santa.

Seriously, all of us know The Big Secret and we still have Santa Wrapping Paper and Santa Presents, and the go-to-bed-now-so-Santa-can-come conversation on Christmas Eve.

I'm not kidding.

You would think that once all of us became "In The Know", Christmas would change just the tiniest bit. Sure, there'd be presents and family and Christmas specials and things--just no Red Suit Guy. But for some reason, that ain't happening in my family.

My dad loves Christmas--like to the point of obsession. For thirty days out of the year this fifty-two year old man behaves like he's five--which entertains the rest of us no end. It's my dad's idea to keep the Santa paper and play Santa Claus; I think the day the twins(the youngest in my family) Found Out was one of the most tragic of his life.  

The result is that all of us still get Santa things, which is pretty cool considering we all know The Secret.


The kids still get up between 4 and 6 am on Christmas Day.

When we were little, my parents established a rule that we were not allowed out of our rooms until Mom and Dad came to get us. Only then were we allowed to see Santa stuff, which usually happened around 6 am.

Of course, this didn't mean we didn't get up earlier than that.

Since we were allowed out of our rooms, we would do other stuff, like read or let out muted squeals of excitement about what we had received because we'd been so good. When my  brothers were old enough, they started to sneak into the room I shared with my sister, so we were all in one room when it was time to go see what we had.

Over the past several years, a new tradition has been added to this one: the girls(or usually just me) are woken up at 4am by the twins so we can watch a movie together before going to see "Santa gifts".

Again, I'm not kidding.

Two early teen boys come into my room when I'm home for Christmas at 4 am and we watch tv until it's Santa time. And they don't let me sleep. It's tradition. Have I tried to stop them? Well, I would but:

a) there is no lock on my bedroom door, and even if there was, they'd find another way in. And,

b) I'm kind of fond of this tradition

I still don't sleep on Christmas Eve

My earliest memories of December 24th are of tossing and turning and checking my clock. Would Santa really come? What if he didn't? What if I got coal instead of presents? I hadn't cleaned my closet, what if he looked there? Once he did come, could I convince him I was asleep? What would he bring me? What if he skipped me?

I am now an adult, so you would think that I'd be able to sleep through the night.

Ha. Ha, ha, HA!

I still get butterflies in my stomach at the thought of Santa presents.

I still can't wait to wake up and see those presents by my stocking.

I still toss and turn until my covers fall of because I can't sleep.

I still check my phone like a maniac every few hours to see if it's time to get up yet.

My longest sleep record Christmas Eve? Four hours. Midnight to four am(see reason above). Sometimes, I take go back to bed after the Santa things. But most of the time, I pull a--day that's longer than twenty-four hours(whatever 4am-10pm is; you do the math--that's not my thing).

We still watch "It's A Wonderful Life" on Christmas Eve, and I still bawl the last half hour.
I first saw this classic Christmas movie when I was seven, and I didn't like it. I didn't like it because it was on tv(ew, commercials) and I didn't like it because it wasn't in color(I didn't actually start to like black and white films until high school).

Now, we have the movie on DVD and I am in love.

I love watching Jimmy Stewart, and I love the story, and--yes, I cry. From the time he loses his wife(SPOILER!!!) to the end of the film, I am a bawling mess. Needless, to say, this causes no end of entertainment for my brothers. (it's also number 6 on my "movies that make me cry" list)

My family is quirky, just as I am. We do things like this every year. Is this going to change? Never. Do I want it to? Nope.

Quirky Monday: Theme Reading and NaNoWriMo

So here's the thing.

A while ago, I posted about how much I love books. Much too much.

But there's another facet to this little booknerd quirk of mine.

I "theme read".

Seriously, I have a Halloween list, a Christmas list, a Fourth of July list, a Spring list, Winter list, and Easter list.

I don't know what it is, but I have to read books that fit the time of year. Maybe not all the books I can possibly find, but there are two or three(or five or six), that I read during a specific time of year.

A Christmas Carol is strictly for December, as are Louisa May Alcott's The Abbot's Ghost and Lauren Willig's Mischief of the Mistletoe(and soon Rhys Bowen's Twelve Clues of Christmas)

The Secret Garden is Spring Read; The Shadow, Sherlock Holmes, MC Beaton's books and Legend of Sleepy Hollow are for Halloween.

Recently, I added Patricia Clapp's Constance and Louisa May Alcott's Little Men to my Fall/Winter list(question: WHY has this never been adapted to the stage or made into a decent film? I mean, the made for TV Canadian one was--ok, but it's no longer on Netflix and the TV series was--meh. WHY?!)

Here's the funny thing though--I don't have a Thanksgiving list. Not that I don't know any Thanksgiving themed books(see the two listed above), but my reading for November picks up a different "theme".

NaNoWriMo.

For those not in the know, NaNoWriMo stands for "National Novel Writing Month", when writers everywhere write a novel(or in my case, a play) in one month. I used to try novels for November and scripts for April, but I get too caught up in dialogue and it turns into a play anyway.

And because I am a writer, it helps so much when the books I am reading coincide with the story I am currently writing.

What is that, you ask?

Tell you later....

Quirky Monday: Accents, Dialects, and Language-A Few of my Favorite Things

Pop quiz y'all.

If you want to see me with a big stupid grin on my face, you show me which of the following:

A. Chocolat
B. Letters to Juliet
C. Take the Lead
D. Anything on BBC/ITV
E. All of the above

Answer: All of the above.

Why? Because every single one of them has at least one person speaking another language/in a dialect.

Definitions, real quick:
Accent-unique speech patterns, choice of words of an individual
Dialect-particular form of language specific to a region
And I luv'em both.

Ok, yes, I know the title of the post kind of gave it away, but it's true. I friggin LOVE listening to other languages. Dialects too--some of my favorite productions/films I've seen feature people who speak in dialect--and my ears and heart are in heaven for the next two-ish hours.

French, Italian, Spanish, Swedish, Irish, Russian, Arabic, Mandarin, you name it, I love it. Hearing something that isn't English(or American) does something to my smile muscles. Even German has a tendency to make me grin like an idiot.

I own recordings of two French play productions because it's two hours of people speaking in French(and the stories and concepts aren't too shabby either). During my commute or at work, I sometimes listen to the other people around me because they are speaking Spanish(or French, or Korean, or Mandarin). I have watched the behind-the-scenes footage of Chocolat because I get to hear actress Lena Olen and her husband director Lasse Hallstrom speak to each other in Swedish.

Letters to Juliet is set in Italy, and I watch both the film and the behind-the-scenes footage to get my Italian fix. Take the Lead stars Antonio Bandaras and Dante Baco; the former's native language is Spanish and the latter speaks in a dialect in the film(Brooklyn-something).

Are there times I wish my native language was not English? Yes. Are there times I try to imitate another dialect just for fun?...Yes. Do I sometimes buy audiobooks/go see productions/buy movies because not only is the story amazing, but it happens to be read by/starring someone who reads in a dialect/accent(what? David Tennant is in "Much Ado?" Benedict Cumberbatch and Felicity Jones are doing "Mansfield Park"? Judy Dench and Finty Williams are in "Pooh Bear"?)?.......Yes.

I will also admit that there are times--a few times--when someone speaking in a dialect/different language can turn me into a great big pot of goo. I watch Miss Fischer's Murder Mysteries and Australia so listen to those amazing accents for hours on end. I watch Red Dwarf because of Lister's Liverpuddlian way of speaking. It also kind of helps that all those characters mentioned above aren't bad in the looks department either.

Dialects can also send me into fits of laughter-especially when done wrong. I have heard native Brits speak and I speak French(and own French films, see above), so I know when people get in wrong--and I know it shouldn't be funny, but it is! I watched the film "Outcast" on Netflix for two reasons, first, because 1) I hadn't seen a Hayden Christensen film in a while and 2) I was curious to see if Nicholas Cage could do a dialect/period piece(no comment).

Dialects and language are things I love. So that's how you get me to grin if I'm in a crappy mood.

You're welcome.

Quirky Monday: True to Gender

I used to hate romances.

With a passion.

Maybe it had something to do with the covers(I don't really like seeing "bodice-ripper covers" because they either A) make me uncomfortable or B) make me want to laugh out loud because they look sooooo ridiculous); or maybe it's got something to do with the formula of the plot. 

I also wouldn't read some sci-fi--because plot. 

YAs? Same plot, same character types, same, same, same....all of it. 

Mysteries? Confession: I pretty much know who it is like--halfway through the book? Even if it's well written I think I was only surprised once. ONCE!!!

And yet I read these books over and over and over again: Lauren Willig; Alex Flinn,  S.E. Hinton, and more recently, Tasha Alexander, Deanna Rayburn, Rhys Bowen and Lucinda Brant. So far as males authors go, give me Jerry Barrowman, Terry Brooks and CS Forrester anytime.

Why? 

BECAUSE THEY WRITE REAL MEN AND WOMEN, THAT'S WHY?!

Yeah. I have this weird thing about being "true to gender" because there is nothing more frustrating than reading or seeing something written by a man or woman where all the characters that are the same sex as the writer are spot on and all the ones who aren't are, well--not.

Example: Before my brothers were born, I was under the impression that boys did not cry, This was due to fact that I had never(and still haven't ever) seen my dad cry. To a five year old, if the only male model you have in your life is a father who never cries, it makes sense, right?

It didn't help that my viewing choices were stereotyped with regard to the males. You know how many male characters I saw throw temper tantrums? Two. Donald and Scrooge McDuck.

Until I saw three films that started to change my childhood perspective on males.

First, Jungle Book.

The Disney Jungle Book. You know that scene at the end where Baloo is dying after the fight with Sheer Khan(sorry SPOILERS!!!!)? Well in that scene--Mowlgi cries. He cries!!!
See:

It's a saaaaad scene, right? But it made me really uncomfortable. I'd never seen a boy--or any male for that matter--cry. And it didn't make sense to me. In my five year old brain, girls are the ones who are supposed to cry; and guys man up and move on(thank you male stereotypes).

 I tried a romance in high school. And this was a bad idea. I don't even remember what the author's name was, but I do remember the men in that book. Or rather, the characters that wished they were men and spent most of the novel whinging and mooning and making me want to strangle them!!!!!

And ok, I live with five guys now(my dad and four brothers) so I have seen a little bit of the male side of "oh-I'm-attracted-to-so-and-so-what-do-I do?!"--boy have I ever! But here's the thing: none of them tune out of life and go moon about her for days on end because that isn't how guys are wired people! It just isn't!

When I was seven, my grandpa introduced me to the second film: Princess Bride(which everyone and their aunt has seen at least fifty-thousand times). I've mentioned before how much I love this movie--and now I think I understand why. There were men in this film that showed emotion! Westley cries; Inigo is in intolerable pain; both Fezzik and Inigo are upset when they find Westley's "body"(I know, I know SPOILERS!!!!!).

Film number three with men was West Side Story. Now, up until this point, no matter what movie or tv show I saw, if I guys started showing emotion it made me really uncomfortable(see reason above). So uncomfortable, in fact, that I'd look away from the screen until the scene was over--even after Princess Bride  and Jungle Book. This film, though, was different. This scene especially:

It's messy; it's raw; it's a man going to pieces--and I sat and watched the whole thing. For probably the first time in my life(I was eight). And I kept watching those movies and those scenes for one very important reason.

It's for the same reason I love things like the Fast and Furious franchise and The Prestige and...oh oodles of movies with male leads--because they are Real Men. They cry(Westley, Dom, Angier) and they feel(Brian, Dom, Angier, Drover, Westley) and they go crazy(Inigo, Westley, Dom) and they man up and save the day and all that other good stuff that both reality and imaginations just LOVE(list is too long to insert here)!!!!!

Of course, watching men that are true to life is a little different from writing them. Here is what I learned about writing men: a male's brain is not the same as a woman's(no DUH) and men handle different emotions and problem-solving skills in a way women don't. 

And it isn't just the men either. Poorly written women can drive me up the wall too. I read a book recently for the upcoming Utah Beehive Teen Read Awards--and it was terrible. Because this was a women who didn't know how to write women! And it made me nuts.

Opinion: just as the world has the tendency to stereotype men as "emotionless robots", it also has the tendency to stereotype women as either "emotionally charged drama queens" or "ice women". I'm serious, those are the two "niches". Which is ridiculous on both counts. 

Just as men feel emotions, but aren't allowed to show them, women can be criticized for showing either too much emotion or not enough. There are some really crappy romances I haven't finished for that first reason; and some action flicks I haven't seen for the second. 

Second opinion: reason A happens when women try to write women to please the rest of the world, and reason B happens when men try to write women like men. 

And both backfire. 

You want an example of  what I think is a good film about a woman written by a man? Red Riding Hood. And yes, I know that this film had--mixed reviews and some people(no names) have asked me why the heck I bought it in the first place. My answer? For two reasons--it harkens back to the original tale; and it's written by a man who knows how to write women:

 

And he doesn't stop there. Check this:

This are both  romance scenes. The second is like a high heat romance scene. A scene worthy of a female writer. And this guy hits it spot on!!!! Because he understands that women have a vulnerability that men don't have. It has something to do with the way the female is wired. 

You know another quality women have? We can be little spitfires!

Marvel and Stan Lee taught me that. After Chris Morgan and Ted Elliot and Terry Russio of course(late comic book bloomer, remember).

Want a spitfire woman example? How about this:

So here's the point of this post(if it isn't clear yet): if you're going to write good characters you have to be aware of the gender of the character and be true to it. Men cry; women fight; both have facets of personality that should be taken into account EVERY TIME!!!!!

Keep this in mind and your characters will be friggin awesome!!!!!!