I absolutely agree.
Why? Because I a have a tendency to be afraid of almost everything--heights, rapids, taking off in a plane, coming down in a plane, driving on the freeway, driving period, the dark, water slides, putting my head underwater, squirrels(yes, SQUIRRELS), mice, rats, snakes, spiders, haunted houses, Halloween(I KNOW)--you name it, I react with varying degrees of mind numbing, body-shaking terror.
Some of these things I've been able to get under control. Or at least, to a point where my reaction is less than drastic. Usually, this is accomplished with the assistance of family members. Sometimes the assistance is literal. Other times...."assistance" is my euphemism for "trickery."
Two Christmas' ago, my parents sent my sister Alisse and I on a cruise to Calatina Island and Mexico. Alisse is a planner, and more of a risk taker than I am(at least, I like to think so), and so is my dad, which meant that as soon as we got our interary he and Alisse were looking for ways for the two of us to occupy our time while on Catalina and in Mexico. And one of those things they found was...
Parasailing.
Like, you and a piece of canvas and a harness eight hundred feet above the Pacific Ocean which would result in certain death should we fall.
Sounds fun, right?
Alisse showed me the parasailing excursion package and it was all I could do to keep the fake smile on my face. She was excited; I was not. Then we saw the price and I breathed a silent sigh of relief.
"That looks really fun," I told her. "But....I can't afford that, so maybe we could find something else?"
And I walked away a forgot about it. If I couldn't afford it, then I had nothing to worry about, right?
Flash forward to Catalina Island, January. Alisse and I wake up on the ship and she looks at me and goes: "Hey, make sure you wear clothes that can get wet."
"Ok," I say, reasoning that of course we were on an island so of course we were going to get wet(yes, snigger if you want to; this is my thought process).
So I put on what I deem are reasonable "island get wet clothes"(jean capris, T-shirt) and we disembark and Alisse pulls out her phone, which is fine because we have reception so why not. I don't pay any attention until:
Alisse(pointing her phone at me): Hey Chelsea, so what do you think of Catalina?
Me(understanding she has the camera on, and thinking nothing of it): It's pretty cool.
Alisse: Yeah?
Me: Yeah.
Alisse: Well, guess what we're doing here?
Me(still suspecting nothing): What?
Alisse: We're going parasailing!
Me(thinking it's a joke): No we're not.
Alisse: Yes, we are!
Me(still really hoping this is a joke): No, we are not!
Alisse: Yes! Yes, we are! You said you couldn't afford it, so dad paid for you! Isn't that great?
Me(out loud): No.
Me(internal monologue): No. No, no, no, no no! I had been safe; I had a perfectly logical reason for not going(no money); Alisse knew that, dad knew that; I know they all like to mess with my head, so maybe this is just a joke. It has to be, right? She's kidding, ha ha, very funny. She's kidding. She has to be kidding, right? Right? RIGHT?!
And all this time, I'm following her down the dock and into this little boat(a perfectly safe, well handled boat that does this kind of thing for a living) and we're pulling away from the dock and I realize...she's not kidding.
This is real.
I've been coerced into being attached to a harness.
A harness that's attached to a piece of canvas.
A piece of canvas that will be launched from this boat eight hundred feet into the air.
And if anything breaks, I will fall.
And when I fall, I will die.
And after I die, I will come back as a ghost and haunt my sister for the rest of her days.
I cannot believe she's doing this to me!
We get out far enough to parasail safely. I sit in the boat and people talk to me and I say something, but I have no idea what. Alisse is smiling at me, and I peel my lips back from my teeth and hope it looks real. Two people go in front of us and while they're getting attached Alisse turns to me and says "I paid extra so we can have pictures."
Which means the entire world gets to see yours truly having cardiac arrest eight hundred feet above the Pacific Ocean.
On film.
For all eternity.
Awesome.
 |
| Pre-Takeoff. My Internal Monologue "I'm going to die; I'm going to kill her; I'm going to DIE; I'm going to KILL HER..." |
I don't say anything. I can't think, I can't talk, my heart is pounding, and I'm shaking. I'm shaking and it isn't from the cold. Two more people go and then it's our turn. I stand up, very grateful that the boat moves with the waves so my shaking body could be mistaken for keeping my balance rather than the utter terror that's gripping me.
As instructed, I sit down next to Alisse, and our guide is telling us where the metal bits of the harness click and hold us into place and making sure we're secure.
I'm not smiling, not at all. I'm gripping the sides of the harness on either side of my head so hard my fingers are cramping up and I'm so grateful my sunglasses are covering the panic that is no doubt alight in my eyes.
Our guide nods, and I hear the wizzzzz of the para cord moving, and then a WHOOSH and I'm moving.
I'm gliding in one smooth movement up into the sky and the boat is shrinking and Alisse is all smiles.
I make myself keep my eyes open as the parachute jerks just a tiny bit, and we're gliding eight hundred feet above the water.
The first thing I notice is the silence. Not oppressive silence like you hear in a horror film, but beautiful, solemn, contented silence. It's just me and the sky and the sun. Yes, it's a little colder up here, but I don't mind it. My heart stops racing and the terror ebbs.
Next to me, Alisse has her arms flung wide, grinning like a loon. My hands are still wrapped around the sides of my harness, but I make them uncurl and imitate her. Slowly, slowly I stretch my arms out. The harness grips me in all the right places, keeping me secure. I stretch my arms out further.
And I'm flying, soaring above that amazingly blue water, just me and Alisse and no one else. I can see the tiny white dot of our tour guides boat and birds--birds?!--flying below me. She giggles and looks over at me.
"Chelsea, we're PARASAILING!!!"
"I KNOW?!" I grin back, and it's a real grin; I giggle and it's genuine laughter. Because yes, she did more or less trick me into doing this, but you know what, it's FUN!!!!
I AM PETER PAN!!!!!
 |
| I AM PETER PAN!!!(don't ask what my legs were doing--I had other things on my mind) |
We look at each other again and squeal as the parachute is lowered, dipping out feet into the ocean before pulling us back to the boat("See?" says Alisse. "I told you wear clothes that can get wet.") and I'm still grinning.
Grinning as I land on the deck.
Grinning as my harness is unhooked and the boat makes it's way back to the dock.
Grinning as I get back onto the island and still grinning when we call the rest of the family to let them know what we've just done.
I did something that utterly terrified me.
And it was AMAZING!!!!
Back in our stateroom, I had an epiphany, and that thought stayed with me long after the cruise, and it's something I've been thinking about off and on for a very long time.
Sometimes there are things you need to do which paralyze you with fright: financial things, social things, employment things, entertainment things.
Sometimes you kick and scream and refuse to do them because it's too scary until Life says "too bad you're doing it anyway," so you do the things that scare you anyway.
Sometimes, when you do things that scare you anyway, they turn out to be one of the most fantastic things you've ever done in your life.
So yes, there are still things I am afraid of. There always will be (the sight of a squirrel will send me into mini-paralysis until the day I die).
There are things everyone is afraid of.
But if you take a leap of faith and do them anyway, you will be a much better person for it.
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| End of the Run. The scariest and most amazing thing I've ever done! |
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