New Project: Butterflies

Why do I have a butterfly in this post?

I'll tell you.

So with all this craziness going on, that doesn't mean that my creativity has suffered...

all that much.

I mean, with the way my brain is wired(thank you ADD) and my artistic sensibilities, I tend to think in extremes so for a hot minute minute I had Brain Fog and couldn't think of anything except how badly I wanted Julie Andrew to narrate my life cause then everything would be ok.

No joke.

I binged her latest memoir four times in two days because that was the only secular way to calm myself down.

Because--well, you know.

Anyway, with all this social distancing and self-quarantine and all of us trying to stay healthy when I finally did calm down, I wanted to do the thing that makes me feel even better than bingeing Julie Andrews.

I wanted to write.

Trouble was, I had no clue what to write about.

Enter one of my brilliant friends who is also stuck at home and teaching online but is also a playwright like myself.

He posted on Facebook that he wanted to do a virtual version of some of the play-writing classes he's taught as a way for us artists to connect and be productive.

Guess who jumped right on that?

The deal is we write a play in four weeks(like #EndofPlay and all that) but if we want to send him our stuff(assignments) he will give us feedback.

Have I said how much I love feedback, no matter what it is?

Our first assignment? Send him and outline of the play we were going to write.

Ummmmm.

Remember the Brain Fog I mentioned earlier? Let's just say that I still has dregs of that in the corner of my brain, which meant I had no clue what the heck I was going to write.

Until one o'clock last Friday morning.

I was thinking about how much I love noir.

And how, if I skewed just a couple of things in my life in the right way, my life was kind of in a noir-like situation(or dystopian--but we haven't reached that point yet, knock on wood).

Lots of the media have been using the words "self-quarantine" and "lock-down" and stuff and I thought what if we did go into lock-down?

And what if someone had to sneak out to get something vital without getting caught?

And what if they did get caught and something went really wrong?

And what if after whatever-it-was went really wrong they had to get back to safety before they were caught a second time?

And what if, on top of that, they were dying?

Cue mad scramble across my room to flip open my laptop and start typing like a madwoman.

I had the first draft of that outline typed up in about fifteen minutes.

When I woke up and went back to that outline(after correcting all the so many typos because--you know, lack of sleep and creativity and like that). I started getting names and plot points and my playlist.

The result of which is the basis of my new project, which I will be blogging about for--a bit.

The title of which is: Butterflies.

Cause, really, what else do we have to do?

New Mantra

Hi.

I'm still alive.

Life has just been--really crazy.

Y'all know why.

So I hate being vulnerable.

At all.

Y'all know that.

But this is gonna be one of those posts.

I spent most of this week in major stressed out mode because not only am I participating in #EndofPlay,

but because we as a country are in crisis mode and taking preventative measures to prevent the crisis from getting bigger--and these are great because acting now slows the spread of the virus and will prevent catastrophic consequences later.

But this means that we get other consequences: like schools closing and religious meetings suspended and social distancing and what-if-I-can't-go-to-my-day-job-and-have-to-take-a-huge-bite-out-of-my-savings?

Just--All The Things.

And last night, I usually do when I hit the Stress Wall and want to Block Out Things For a Minute: I watched a happy movie.

Seriously, I have a stack of movies that I call my "happy stack" because they are happy hopeful stories that are usually high on fluff and low on drama so that I can forget my worries for a little bit. Saved my life during all my Finals Weeks.

Anyway, this particular film that I chose was "The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel".

Initially, I saw it cause it had all my favs--Judi Dench, Billy Nighy, Penelope Wilton, Tom Wilkinson, Maggie Smith and Dev Patel all in one movie; but after the first time I ended up buying it because--it really is a happy little fairy-tale.

There's a line in the film that stuck out to me this time. Like, stuck out a lot.

"Everything will be all right in the end. And if it's not all right, then it's not the end."

And you know what?

It's so true!

I've also played this song quite a bit on loop all week cause I think it's a perfect model for my current mood and the mood I'm going to adopt starting now(it's also Sorcha's theme--which I only mention in passing because #EndofPlay):


You know what else I noticed?

There are good generous people in this world; and sometimes I need a physical reminder of that too. Last night my Facebook and Twitter feed exploded with fellow artists saying things like: "let's make sure we are still supporting our fellow playwrights/actors" and "if your day job is closed and you don't have income, here are resources that can help."

You guys, I almost cried.

Because even in all this chaos, there is goodness. And kindness, and people who want to love and support and help each other.

There have been multiple times in my life when I felt like the current situation I was in was the worst and it would never be over and I'd never recover.

But I did.

I bounced back.

And when I look back on those situations, I'm grateful for them.

I am.

Because each of those things taught me something.

And while I have no clue what the heck I'm supposed to be learning from this current global situation, I do know this:

Yes, it's kinda hairy scary out there right now.

Bu it's gonna be ok.

It really really really is.

And if it's not ok yet,

Then it's not the end.

You're welcome.