New Mantra

Hi.

I'm still alive.

Life has just been--really crazy.

Y'all know why.

So I hate being vulnerable.

At all.

Y'all know that.

But this is gonna be one of those posts.

I spent most of this week in major stressed out mode because not only am I participating in #EndofPlay,

but because we as a country are in crisis mode and taking preventative measures to prevent the crisis from getting bigger--and these are great because acting now slows the spread of the virus and will prevent catastrophic consequences later.

But this means that we get other consequences: like schools closing and religious meetings suspended and social distancing and what-if-I-can't-go-to-my-day-job-and-have-to-take-a-huge-bite-out-of-my-savings?

Just--All The Things.

And last night, I usually do when I hit the Stress Wall and want to Block Out Things For a Minute: I watched a happy movie.

Seriously, I have a stack of movies that I call my "happy stack" because they are happy hopeful stories that are usually high on fluff and low on drama so that I can forget my worries for a little bit. Saved my life during all my Finals Weeks.

Anyway, this particular film that I chose was "The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel".

Initially, I saw it cause it had all my favs--Judi Dench, Billy Nighy, Penelope Wilton, Tom Wilkinson, Maggie Smith and Dev Patel all in one movie; but after the first time I ended up buying it because--it really is a happy little fairy-tale.

There's a line in the film that stuck out to me this time. Like, stuck out a lot.

"Everything will be all right in the end. And if it's not all right, then it's not the end."

And you know what?

It's so true!

I've also played this song quite a bit on loop all week cause I think it's a perfect model for my current mood and the mood I'm going to adopt starting now(it's also Sorcha's theme--which I only mention in passing because #EndofPlay):


You know what else I noticed?

There are good generous people in this world; and sometimes I need a physical reminder of that too. Last night my Facebook and Twitter feed exploded with fellow artists saying things like: "let's make sure we are still supporting our fellow playwrights/actors" and "if your day job is closed and you don't have income, here are resources that can help."

You guys, I almost cried.

Because even in all this chaos, there is goodness. And kindness, and people who want to love and support and help each other.

There have been multiple times in my life when I felt like the current situation I was in was the worst and it would never be over and I'd never recover.

But I did.

I bounced back.

And when I look back on those situations, I'm grateful for them.

I am.

Because each of those things taught me something.

And while I have no clue what the heck I'm supposed to be learning from this current global situation, I do know this:

Yes, it's kinda hairy scary out there right now.

Bu it's gonna be ok.

It really really really is.

And if it's not ok yet,

Then it's not the end.

You're welcome.