Name of the Game: Waiting OR Need vs. Want

People who know me know I am not the most patient person in the world.

And that's putting it nicely.

I hate waiting for anything: the mail, a new film to come out, a new book get released, receiving any kind of feedback, professional or otherwise. You name it, I suck at waiting for it.

I was one of those students in elementary school that had to sit with my back to the clock. I don't wear watches a) because I hate the feeling of the thing on my wrist, and b) I don't like something telling me it's not time yet--which is what happens sometimes with a watch.

Unfortunately, that's what we have to do in life. A lot of the time. I have been officially graduated for two weeks as of today, and one of the things I am rapidly learning is that the things I want to do, aren't necessarily the things I need to do. At this point. If at all.

I've known what I've wanted since I was six years old. I knew what I wanted to be and how I was going to get there. What I didn't realize at the time, is that what you want, isn't always what you need.

I want to be able to eat chocolate all the time.

I need to eat other stuff--fruit, vegetables, pasta, meat, whatever--in order to function as a normal human being.

I want to be able to stay up all night writing and analyzing films to death.

I need to sleep so that I don't konk out in the middle of the day.

I want to spend my life writing and pretty much nothing else.

I need to keep a roof over my head, food inside my body, and be able to get around when I need to. That takes money.

This doesn't mean I can't do what I want eventually(I can spend 79 cents on a Hershey bar every once in a while, or pull the odd all nighter--if it's a holiday or something); all it means is that I there are other things to do first.

One of my favorite authors is Lauren Willig. I don't normally go for romance novels, but these are awesome--especially since they are a) kinda sorta Scarlet Pimpernel fanfiction and b) have characters that behave like normal people rather than the moony-goony-lovelorn-ick that's in most "romance novels"(just my opinion, sorry, sorry). But I digress.

Lauren Willig is a bestselling author. Now. But when she started writing her novels? She worked at New York Law Firm. That's right, she graduated in History and Law and worked as a 2L for three years before she could write full time.

James Cagney is another example(and someone I bring up far too often, sorry!). He worked in a hotel--a hotel!!!! as a bellboy!!!!!---until he got onto the stage. Guess when that was? He was 27. 27!!!! And he didn't get into films until he was in his 30s!!!!

Both Cagney and Willig had dreams--to be onstage and to be a writer; both also realized that "want" wasn't possible at that moment, for one reason or another. And that reason--or reasons--had to do with need. Both did what needed to be done, and eventually(there's another word I hate) they both got what they wanted.

So all I'm saying this week is that it's fine to "want"; to dream; to know where you should end up. But also keep in mind that "need"--that stupid part of the waiting game that always has to be played. And I'm not saying I'm good at it. What I'm saying is that yes, waiting sucks; and "needing" sucks; but if you get through that and do it with a smile on your face, then the "wanting" bit feels then times better!