One is being patient. Both my family and my close friends know this and get deal with it every day, all the time. Sorry, guys. Sorry, sorry, sorry.
The other one they get to see and deal with all day every day is my sarcasm filter.
And the fact that I don't have one.
A sarcasm filter, I mean.
I don't know what it is--probably something to do with my genetic make-up, thanks Dad!--but I get this weird thrill out of being snarky and sarcastic.
To anyone.
At any given opportunity.
People who know me really well are able to spot when I'm being sarcastic(something to do with my word choice, my teeth, and my eyebrows, apparently); other people, not so much.
Guys, I swear I'm working on it.
Except there are times when I'm sure my brain-to-mouth filter just plain doesn't exist.
And yeah, I know there are times when sarcasm should be avoided, and I'm getting better at spotting those; but that still doesn't keep me from getting in trouble, thanks to some snarky remark that shoots out of my mouth before I can stop it(open mouth, insert foot....)
Like the time I was in high school and got tested for my writing skills.
My school district had this ridiculous idea that the only way to tell if high school English teachers were doing their jobs was to give us a Writing Assessment(take the first three letters of that word-- "assessment"--and you'll know what me feelings are on that subject).
So each year we had to write a five paragraph essay no longer than three pages answering a question picked by the district. And we had an hour and a half to do it.
I get it. I do. School districts want to check up on how well the teachers in said school districts are doing their job; and the only way to check that is to look at student test scores, blah, blah, blah(and I have a whole other rant on what's wrong with this, but that's for another post)....
All I'm saying is that if you want to test these students and get serious results, then don't ask them stupid questions.
You guys, the questions were asinine! We had to be persuasive about things that--in the long run--didn't matter.
At all.
Want to know one of the really good ones? "Should high schools increase the amount of vending machines present in schools, or just raise the prices of the contents of said vending machines? Why or why not?"
Seriously!
That was the question!
We had to write a freaking three page five paragraph essay answering that question!
So what did I do? Well, since:
That's all.
Yeah....
Apparently, those who read it didn't get satire.
Like, at all.
Or sarcasm.
Not the least little bit.
Results: one of the few Writing Tests I actually failed.
They placed me in the non-honors/low-level courses so I could learn to "become a more serious writer" and "increase my writing scores on the English and Writing portions of my upcoming ACT" (ha, ha, ha!).
But that's what happens to me all time! I get asked stupid questions, and react accordingly; or overhear stupid arguments, and react accordingly; or just have the snarky comment that wants to come out or I'll burst.
And I let it out!
In spades!
Open mouth, shove foot down throat....
I will say though, that there have also been times that sarcasm has worked to my advantage. Sometimes people take what I say seriously, even when I don't mean it that way. I made a sarcastic comment about a policy at one of my summer jobs once; and they changed it(for the better, it turns out), because they thought I was totally serious!
There are times I am so sarcastic I should not be allowed in public. But then there are also times when I'm glad I'm sarcastic, because I doubt I'd be the same person, and I'd really kind of miss that.
Just a little.
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